From The Shooting Star, February 24, 2008. Copyright 2008, Ellen Rowse Spero. All rights reserved.
This column began from conversation I had at the last "Lunch with the Rev." Once a month, the Caring Connection hosts a lunch for me and parishioners to have lunch and chat together. We were talking about the annual Valentine’s Ice Cream Social. The adults present remarked how good the children were during this event: everyone lined ups, said please and thank-you, and otherwise showed respect for each other and the hosts. This has not always been true. So this column is really for our children and youth.
For the conversation got me thinking about worship and how much you have learned about being in worship with all of us adults. When I first came to First Parish, you all were not often in the sanctuary for services or even for parts of them. I asked that you be in services, at least for part of the time, on a regular basis because I believe it is really important for you to be in the sanctuary with adults. There are lots of reasons for this: a reminder that we are an intergenerational community and that all ages matter. I want all of us to know who you are and watch you. I want you to know that I am your minister as well, and not just here for the grown-ups. I want you to learn what it means to be in the sanctuary and learn about the different aspects of worship, so that as you grow older, they would have meaning to you, and be familiar. I believe it is important for you and for the future of Unitarian Universalism that our children and youth feel at home in the sanctuary. That you know the words to hymns. That you hear the words of the chalice lighting or listen to how music and stories create a sense of being together in a sacred time as a sacred community.
At first, there was worry that having all the children and youth in the service would not work well. I realize it is hard to sit sometimes and listen, or at least be quiet enough so that others can listen. (By the way, this is true for adults as well as kids!) But I have seen how well each of you has grown in being part of the congregation. You are wonderful participants in our intergenerational services and you are wonderful during the first part of the sanctuary start services. Watching you all grow up is one of the greatest joys of my ministry here, and I see how those of you who have been coming for a long time are teaching your newer peers how to be in worship together. When I look out from the pulpit, I see all kinds of intergenerational-type things happening that make me feel happy about being the minister here. I see a mother tracing the words of the hymn we are singing so that her children can follow. I listen to our young singers in the various choirs and our youth playing their instruments to provide the music to the service. I see our children and youth being teachers with Sadie during the "For All Ages," bringing our Unitarian Universalist faith to life in all kinds of creative ways. I see adults other than parents smile at babies to keep them happy and engaged. And I see the wonderful words or pieces of art that people from every generation contribute during our intergenerational services.
Learning to be aware and intentional of what is happening around us is part of our Unitarian Universalist principles: affirming the inherent worth and dignity of every person and being aware of the larger web (or community) of which we are a part. As we grow in numbers as well as spirit, we can take what we have learned about how to be in worship together or how to share in a special event like the Ice Cream Social and apply it to other parts of our intergenerational life. It gets hard sometimes in social hour not to want to run around and play after being in a class or sitting in the sanctuary. I and others are brainstorming ways that we can be in social hour together that is fun for kids but that also recognizes that some of us aren’t as steady on our feet or can’t hear as well or are carrying hot drinks that can get spilled when it is crowded. All these things take time and we need to be careful, patient, kind with each other in the meantime. Meanwhile, I want to thank all our children and youth for all you contribute to the life and energy and wonderfulness of this congregation. I love having each and every one you as part of First Parish. I hope you know how true this is.
In faith,
Ellen